⟁ NEWS FEED PROCESSING...PLEASE WAIT
| ⟁ LAZARUS NEWS NETWORK (LNN) FEED
| ⟁ ALERT: KAKISTOCRATS AND HERETICS ARE LISTENING. KEEP TIGHT LIPS.
| ⟁ SECRETARY GENERAL:
Administrative Freeze Ends, and Lazarus prevails!
| ⟁ FIRST CITIZEN:
Appointments Announced by First Citizen Domais
| ⟁ LNN: French Kissing Leads To Higher Croissant Use, Authorities Warn
| ⟁ MINISTRY OF CULTURE: Citizens Reminded That Last Year’s Mandatory Dance Is Still Mandatory
| ⟁ LNN: Cat Hijacks Municipal Bus; Riders Applaud Good Timing At Stops And Courteous Meows
| ⟁ LAZARUS LIBRARIUM:
Historical Records Updated; Please Refresh Your Memory
| ⟁ LNN: Meddling kids avert villainous plot
| ⟁ EXECUTIVE COUNCIL: Mild Administrative Weather Expected Region‑Wide
| ⟁ PUBLIC SAFETY: Lazarenes Reminded Not to Feed the Bureaucratic Pigeons
| ⟁ HEAD OF STATE: Treadwellia says “Mmph!” in Response to Another Regional Feast
| ⟁ LNN: Tree Stuck In Schrödinger's Cat; Firefighters Baffled
| ⟁ LNN: Experts Advise Using Sunblock As Sunny Weather Continues
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