Code: Zetaboards Version

 

[center][img]http://i.imgur.com/2WEObHr.png[/img]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/hdiVlFB.png[/img]
[big][big]The Official Newspaper of Lazarus
Issue # • Month Year • # Page
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[center][img]http://i.imgur.com/IAqzABK.png[/img]
[big][b]Is It A Sandwich, or A Waste Of Bureaucracy?
By [Svez][/b]
[img]https://images-ext-1.discordapp.net/eyJ1cmwiOiJodHRwczovL2kuaW1ndXIuY29tLzJKcXdhNUouanBnIn0.tcgBeo0oF4aOljmb9OVxZwnAEag?width=364&height=250[/img][/center]
Everybody likes a good sandwich from time to time, but thanks to a silly set of questions proposed on the Discord chat, the discussion of what constitutes a sandwich became an all too real inquiry for the Lazarene. It all started when I jokingly asked "If a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?" where I was answered a question for a question with "Is a Hot Dog a sandwich?"

The following conversation followed when a chart was posted about the alignments of a sandwich, with the chaotic evil equivalent of a sandwich being, of all things, a Poptart. Though the conversation retained some sense of Lazarene brand seriousness, other parts of the conversation maintained a rather serious question. Normally, these ideas are left best to the philosopher, 'what constitutes this or that', but Lazarus remained undeterred by our lack of doctorates in philosophy, and drug the question through everything from the surreal and silly to the contemplative and serious.

Initially, the conversation started around an argument that a sub was hardly a sandwich, which some of the participants to the conversation disagreed with. It then asked if a wrap was a sandwich, where disagreement was met. Some would say that a wrap was a sandwich, but a burrito was not. Others said neither was a sandwich, while some said that both were.

Other theoretical combinations were pressed after a sandwich was defined, such as three slices of bread being a "bread sandwich", "two rocks with bone between them" being a "bone sandwich", a suit of medieval suit of armor that clamps in the front and back of a person being a "human sandwich" - the later of which resulted in the shit post of "all medieval wars were really just large scale food fights then".

The structure of a sandwich was also questioned. If a sub was turned on its side, was it then a taco? Was a hot dog a taco of sorts? Do you have to press a sandwich to make it a sandwich? What about open face sandwiches, or sandwiches where a single piece of bread is folded up over itself as top and bottom layer? The questions were fired off faster than answers could be given or agreed upon, leaving much room for speculation on the matter of the debate and the resolutions it would meet.

Fortunately, some more logical points were made about hamburgers being a sub-section of a sandwich, macaroons and toasties being separate categories under the sandwich moniker as well.

The conversation ended, of course, in a typical Lazarene fashion when after over an hour of debating a sandwich, when Lamb asked a simpler, unrelated question; "Have any of you been outside today?"

Perhaps it was the question, or the affiliated shame in the strange context in the questions about sandwiches that hand ensured for the majority of that hour, but soon the conversation ended with no official decision. With no official answer to all of the questions, we have only to ask ourselves - Is It A Sandwich, or A Waste Of Bureaucracy?
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Code: Proboards Version

 

[align=center][img]http://i.imgur.com/2WEObHr.png[/img]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/hdiVlFB.png[/img]
[size=150]The Official Newspaper of Lazarus
Issue # • Month Year • # Page
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[size=150][b]ARTICLE TITLE GOES HERE[/b][/size]
[b]By YOUR NAME HERE[/b][/align][align=center]
[img]https://placeholdit.imgix.net/~text?txtsize=33&txt=350%C3%97150&w=350&h=150[/img][/align]
[size=100]Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
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